Well girl, it’s looking like you are a second generation only child. It used to break my heart when you would ask for a sibling because every parent wants to give their child a perfect life, better than they had. But, there is no perfect life. The purpose of life isn’t to be perfect and without pain, but to discover.
- Don’t change who you are to fit in with a group. Adolescence is a time when our peers really shape who we are. Choose wisely.
- Keep your standards high for how people treat you. Communicate this as much as necessary or move on.
- “Being along is better than being in the wrong company.” This was a lesson I had to learn over and over for awhile. Now, I only see benefit in being with people if it brings joy, not depletion.
There are positives and negatives to every birth order status. Some people say only children are selfish but the only children I know are generous and free with their love. I know people who have siblings who won’t even share a tiny bite on their plate- I suppose because they had to fight for it growing up. Being an “only” can be a beautiful thing: it gives you time to daydream, wonder, wander, discover who you are, and my personal favorite: observe. I choose to see the best about being an only child. You choose who you want to be.
We learn as we go and hopefully, we continue to grow. So, don’t ever be worried about choosing the wrong people (this is a form of perfectionism I believe) because we all have lessons to learn from each relationship we have along the way. These are important lessons! Don’t beat yourself up if you choose people who hurt you. Each of us is will be on the receiving and giving end of this stick at various times in life. It’s inevitable.
It’s your choice, see, how you turn out. People are amazingly resilient creatures. There is no end product, no final version of yourself until you’re done growing and figuring yourself out. Learning to love yourself is the best way to attract the right people. Find your people, the siblings you choose. The ones who love you and who you can be completely yourself, who not just accept you but celebrate you and all your quirks. The lessons will be painful at times but know you are perfect just the way you are. We all are.
We’re all looking for the same things- connection, purpose, and love. Keep your heart full and your vibes high to attract the loves of your life. My wish for you is for you to keep that beautiful confidence for all your days. The confidence it takes to leave the house in mismatched clothes and socks with sandals, like a German tourist.
You may meet some of your people now, or it may take awhile. Right now everyone in your class is your best friend and that makes my heart sing. But the journey is bound to get more complicated before you settle into middle age and decide carefully who you give your energy to and who you share yourself with. Babe, I’ll be watching it unfold, all of it, from a slight distance, just close enough so you know I’m here if you need me.
Love,
Mom
Jami's Journal 